Why do things like this happen to me?

I'm constantly a victim of my own airheadedness. About two months ago, around the time I stopped pureeing my son's baby food, I still had my food processor out. I love that contraption. It slices, it grates, it purees, chops and stirs, and when you pop on the pitcher, it blends! Is there anything a Cuisinart can't do?

I had the lid to the food processor sitting next to the stove. Or so I thought. Apparently, it was actually on the stove. Not on a burner necessarily, but given the damage I caused, it may as well have been. I was cooking a pot of vegetables next to it and the heat melted the edge of the lid - the part that locks into the food processor's pitcher - and it melted a little 1" spot between the food pusher and the food tube.

Exhibit A:


But I didn't sweat it because hey, I was done pureeing food! I'm not planning on any more babies so I don't have to make any more baby food. I very rarely grate or slice anything in it, so no worries. Besides, I plan on coercing dropping subtle hints to get a Magic Bullet for Christmas. So I don't even need the food processor attachment anymore, right?

Wrong.

In a weak moment, I decided to make pan-fried potatoes, also known as cottage fried potatoes. As you can see, this requires thinly-sliced potatoes. My first thought? Grab the food processor! You'll be done with slicing in, like, ten seconds. So I grab the step stool and climb up to get it down from our Sasquatch Cabinets. The bottom of the cabinets is six feet high!!! Who designs cabinets like that???

Exhibit B:


Imagine my sadness and annoyance when I realize that after peeling and halving the potatoes (the point of no return; I'm now commited to some sort of pain-in-the-ass potato dish), I must slice them myself, a huge toll on my tendonitis.

Exhibit C:


So now I must slice them myself. Old School.

Exhibit D:


How did the pioneers ever do it? Okay, so my situation was small potatoes (ha ha) compared to what they dealt with, but still. I once tried scrubbing my floors on my hands and knees. I thought I'd save myself a few bucks and not buy a mop. I mean, my ancestors did it, right? Heh. I'd never make it in the Old West!

I guess I should have mentioned...

I love my kids SO MUCH. I do! I've had a couple of comments already (one posted, one rejected and the rejection knows why), both of which sound like I've been perceived as a true mommy on the edge. Edge of what, I dunno. But in retrospect, I did sound a bit manic, didn't I?!

Sorry 'bout that. I'm not crazy, I'm not near a breakdown or anything. Rest assured that aside from the occasional cry and whine I'm in perfect mental health! I get a little down when I don't get any "me" time for weeks at a time and when I voice my frustration, he poo-poos it like my feelings don't matter.

I cherish my time with my kids. We've made a lot of sacrifices so I can stay home with them and I shouldn't complain about the job I have. So many moms and dads would LOVE to have my job!!! My kids are, and always will be, my first priority. Please don't call that into question.

All I'm saying is that everyone needs a break sometimes. Grass is always greener, right?

Why bother?

Seriously, I've had it up to HERE --->* with my husband's dismissive attitude towards what can only be described as my cabin fever. We had another fight yesterday (no, this isn't the first time we've gone 'round about this) about how I feel really cooped up at the end of the week and wish I was able to go somewhere on my own, sans kids, on the weekend. However, more often than not, there's no money for that. Not for what I want to do anyway, which entails a salon or a mall.

So I get mad, I cry, I stomp around and mope. Basically, what any woman who's been rearing kids all week would do when she realizes that she gets to do more of the same over the weekend with absolutely no break.

It helped a little bit that while I was out shopping (for diapers and groceries, people, nothing FUN) he cleaned up our living room and kitchen, ran the dishwasher and vacuumed, and got both kids to take a nap.

Still...a little sympathy would go a long way. He doesn't seem to understand the toll sitting around with 2-3 small children all day takes on a woman. It's very taxing! You get little to no adult interaction and all you deal with are tears, fights, diapers and sticky hands.

You have no idea what I'd give for an afternoon with a primed and ready debit card, the Newpark Mall or the Gilroy Outlets, and NO KIDS. No stroller, no hand-holding with the Shortstack, yelling at her through clenched teeth to "Get out of that clothes rack!! NOW!!!

I can almost feel the headache-inducing air conditioning, the new-clothes smell, the rustle of shopping bags, the warm and welcome sight of Bath & Body Works...close your eyes people. You can see it! You're there! There's the hum of the mass of people moving around you while you sit on a contoured wooden bench, sipping your iced white mocha with whipped cream, your purchases at your side. You're thinking your next stop will be Macy's...or maybe Things Remembered to pick out a nice frame. Don't forget Gymboree!! Everything's so shiny and clean (two adjectives rarely used when you talk about your home or kids these days) and you're absolutely ALONE. No one asking for milk, pulling up on your lap because that's their new trick and they won't stop pulling up on you, no husband whining because dinner's five minutes later than normal...

Someday folks, someday.

Thank Heaven for Little Girls

Seriously, just when I'm at the end of my rope with Beth, when I can't endure another meltdown without picking up either a pack of cigarettes or a tallboy...she becomes the sweet little girl we all know and miss 14 out of the 15 hours per day she's awake.

I had taken three dishes into the kitchen cleaned up after dinner but left everything on the counter with the intent of finishing up when the kids went to bed. At one point, Beth had followed me in there to get some water but didn't leave when I did. I figured, "No biggie. She'll probably grab one of her confiscated toys off the microwave and be out soon."

Yeah.

Tonight, after I got her to bed and the baby passed out, I went to the kitchen to unload the dishwasher. As I'm about to put the baby's snack cups in my plasticware drawer, I open it and see this:




The first cup contains the casing from a hot dog I fed my son for dinner. *GASP* Yes, occasionally, I stoop to the dredges of society and live up to the redneck persona. Shut up, you feed your kids hot dogs too.

The second cup contains the last three grains of rice from the cup of fried rice he had. Wow, healthy food is bountiful in our house tonight!!!

Hey, he liked it.

Anyway, I know she was trying to help mommy by putting a few dishes away for me. And I SO appreciate it. I just wish she'd learn the difference between "dirty" and "clean."

Happy Fourth of July!!!

I absolutely LOVE this holiday. Memorial Day runs a close second. Then Christmas. Anyway, I love anything patriotic and I love celebrating my Americanness. It is such an awesome (and, to those less fortunate in other parts of the world, highly desirable) privilege to live in a nation with so many freedoms!!

No, I'm not one of those crazies who wears every last American-flag-covered item they can find at their local Walmart. I actually know someone who does this and although they are a very endearing person, this particular habit of theirs makes me gnash my teeth. Especially since you aren't supposed to do this.

But I am fiercely patriotic. I choke up when I hear "The Star-Spangled Banner." I boo-hiss any American who doesn't have any American pride. Said people are DAMN lucky to be Americans and to have the freedom to run their little protests about how they're ashamed of our president and our country. Honestly, people who would rather live in another country or in their home country should go. Now.



Don't get me started on this woman.

Anyway, I hope all of you true wonderful Americans have a lovely holiday and weekend!!!

Janie's Got A Gun

So we watched"30 Days" last night. I absolutely love this show! Last year, I watched "Supersize Me," a film about the fast food industry (namely McDonald's) which turned me onto Morgan Spurlock's work. Hubby and I are huge fans of "30 Days" now!

So last night's episode was, in general, the 2nd Amendment. This is something hubby and I are passionate about. We're members of the NRA and believe that every law-abiding citizen has the right to legally own firearms. I should also add that I (we) do support background checks (although I think the one-week waiting period is a bit excessive and even unnecessary). It makes me want to slam my head in a drawer repeatedly when I hear people like Rosie O'Donnell say, in her annoying nasally voice, "Guns kill people, Tom..." [referring to her 2000 interview with Tom Selleck]

NO THEY DON'T!!!! Guns are inanimate objects. It takes a human action behind the gun to make it fire a bullet(s) into a person. Honestly, I would LOVE to see the statistics of how many gun-related crimes are committed by the registered owner of the legally purchased gun used in the crime. Anti-gun activists can pass law after law after law, banning this and that and the other thing but it will not keep guns out of the hands of criminals!!

I realize that a lot of people have lost loved ones because some nutjob or n'er-do-well took a notion and shot them for no good reason. That's awful and I'm sorry. I've lost loved ones too and I lost a friend to suicide - a friend who shot himself. My husband also lost a friend that very same way. But I still contend that taking guns away from the public - in effect disarming us, leaving us defenseless in our homes - is the answer. I feel much safer with a gun in our house for protection than if we had nothing. I really, truly doubt that someone who was so determined to get at us in our own home that he broke in is going to stop and listen to what I have to say, let me talk him down and out the door, or into submission until the cops get there. I'd be more than happy to take the first shot if it means defending myself or my family. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

I know my opinions on this aren't likely to fall on sympathetic ears. But I get absolutely irate when I watch people stereotype gun owners and then refuse to see the other side of the coin. Thankfully, Pia (the anti-gun activist girl who traveled to Leesburg, Ohio, on "30 Days") saw that not every gun owner is a bloodthirsty maniac or a heartless criminal.

Thanks for hearing me out. Living where I do, it's hard to find like-minded people to jabber with about this!

A double-edged sword.

Click Here For More Funny Pictures


So Thursday will be my last day babysitting until possibly the 14th. The woman I babysit for is going on a business trip and her son is staying with family for the week. Then, because her family will be visiting, they may keep him until they leave.

I have mixed feelings about this. I'm glad I'll have that precious time back with my babies, just me and them, and I'll be free to go where I please. When Boy is here, I can't - my car can only hold two carseats and two adults. Well, it could also hold a small child between the two of them, but Boy is only 3 years old and weighs just a bit more than my infant (he's skinny!), so he must be carseated. Thus, I'm tethered to the apartment. We've tried taking walks, but his mom even admits, he's kinda hard to control. Anyway, now I can go to the park or the library or maybe even the mall.

However...

Were I a regular daycare, I might be able to work out some sort of compensation for the time I will be involuntarily out of work. But I'm not. I'm just a stay-at-home mom who watches a boy all week. So I'm out $100 a week until he returns. This may not sound like much to some of you, but for us, it's pretty damn important. It helps pay the bills!

Meh. I don't know whether to be enthralled at more one-on-one time with my kids or shittin' kittens because we may not be able to pay a few bills this month - bills that need to be paid.

Maybe I should go panhandle outside AT&T Park???