College, Part Un

I mean, if you can't steal their ideas for a blog post, then may as well kick them to the curb, right? *smile* Thanks, Amy!



As most of you know by now, I went to Slippery Rock University in western Pennsylvania. Look at a map of Pennsylvania, find Pittsburgh and Lake Erie, draw a line and find the midpoint. You're in Slippery Rock. Yes, it's a real town. And yes, more often than not, it is slippery.

I spent a total of 34 months there, give or take a few weeks, between 1998 and 2002. I lived in three different residence halls and one set of on-campus apartments. I changed majors once and even declared a minor - but only because they made me do it. I had six different roommates. I participated in one organization and one on-campus protest. I learned how to drink AND how to smoke (cigarettes, that is, for the most part but more on that later) and discovered the inherent beauty of the Hangover Hat. Let me tell you about it. College, not the Hangover Hat.

I started SRU in Fall 1998. My roommate, whom I'd never met but only spoken to briefly, was Megan. We thought we'd be alright with out a TV, so neither of us brought one, but after about four days we we were bored out of our tree. I went home that weekend and brought one back with me. Maury Povich at 10 a.m. became the only thing we had in common. She had an emotional basketcase of a boyfriend who'd started at SRU that fall too and man alive, was he a mess. We went through a week or so of him calling every. five. minutes. in the middle of the night because he was homesick and panicked about being a school. Sometime after Christmas break, she stopped sleeping in our room; she'd stay at her boyfriend's dorm every night and hardly spoke to me for the rest of the semester. I never did figure out what that was about.

I made the majority of my friends in my dorm on my floor, primarily Sara, Pam, Becca, Cary and Erin. Cary and Erin took me to my first fraternity party. It was a finger-painting party, we had to wear plain t-shirts, drink and paint other people. It was my first foray into drinking and I got lost in the beer. I came home that night with a pair of handprints on my boobs, reportedly from a gay guy (hey, it was Phi Kapps, a fraternity with mostly male band geeks in it, and I say "geeks" endearingly: I served my marching band with pride in high school).

Any drinking I did that year, I did with them, save for my trip to London. That's right, across the pond. See, I was a member (for all of three semesters) of the honor's program and that entitled me to an invitation for a week-long trip to London and a day trip to Edinburgh, Scotland. Wheee! I don't remember what it cost me but the college footed most of the bill. It was freaking awesome. I made a friend on the trip, Beth, and because the legal drinking age there is 19, we all had a good time. Americans to the core, we dedicated a night to drinking at - where else? - TGI Fridays! It was a few blocks from our hotel. I also had a bottle of MGD at the first pub I ate at. I had fish 'n chips. I'm such a tourist.

I majored in psychology when I enrolled at SRU and was still a psych major when I wrapped up my freshman year. I'd accumulated about nine credits in the psych department at that point and thought I was well on my way. I'd taken College Writing I and II with the same professor though, Dr. DiMarco, and she was like the English teacher I'd never had in high school. One who saw how much I loved writing and encouraged it and was NICE. Cohorts from CVHS remember D. Baker. NOT nice.

I never returned to Harner Hall after my second semester wrapped up. I'd found new roommates in North Hall, the all-girls dorm at the top of Cardiac Hill on campus. I was supposed to room with Heidi and Angie in a suite. I got my roommate assignment letter in July with my roommate's name on it, and it definitely didn't say anything about a Heidi or an Angie. It said Kelly. I hadn't the foggiest the ride I was in for with Kelly or the hooligans in the adjoining suite, not to mention the neighbor across the hall who, for all intents and purposes, lived in the suite too.

To be continued...

"He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree."

~ Roy L. Smith

Something weird came over me today. I left the kids at home with Rob and I took off around 10:00 a.m. I was heading to Wal-Mart, Sears, and the grocery store. I picked up what I needed at Wal-Mart and headed out the door only to be met by a man soliciting for money for a miscellaneous cause that I didn't catch wind of. What I did catch was a twinge of guilt when I told him, "Sorry, I'm not carrying any cash today." The truth was, I really wasn't carrying cash. The guilt was for that very reason. I wanted to drop a buck in the locked box. Normally, I don't think twice about brushing off a solicitor. I never have the spare cash and I cynically assume that a portion of that money will go towards salaries. I realize, logically, that in most cases that simply isn't true, but I use it as justification for not coughing up fifty cents.

I felt even worse when he said, "Thank you anyway, have a nice day," and his voice carried that resignation and sarcasm. I was pushing a cart with a box of diapers, and three bags, two of which had gifts in it, a gift each for my step-nephews; how could I not have cash? Or maybe my guilt is manifesting this.

Then I get out to the car and as I'm climbing into the driver's seat, I look over across the cart corral and see a woman flipping open the top of a garbage can, collecting cans and bottles for recycling, probably to earn a few bucks for a meal. Any other day, I'd just go about my business, paying her no mind. What did I do today? I started digging around my floorboards for a bag to gather up our used bottles and cans, hoping to pass a quarter's worth of recycling on to her. By the time I realized I had no bag and only one can to offer, though, she was on to the next aisle.

My ten-minute drive to Sears was filled with an odd feeling. I could almost feel Christmas stirring my soul. I was smiling, I was singing at the top of my lungs, and all I wanted to do was finish running my errands so I could get home and figure out how to give this Christmas and from now on. We have a truckload of stuffed animals the kids don't play with that we'd like to donate, a bunch of old clothes, some toys. I guess I'll post most of them on Freecycle since no shelter will take used clothing or toys. I may also donate some old blankets and sheets to the local animal shelter. On Christmas Eve, we're going up to Antioch to help my father-in-law and stepmother-in-law feed the homeless and needy. They provide a huge, hot meal and hand out blankets and warm clothes, it's a really great thing they do.

It's just really strange that at a time when we have very little and are facing down a grim immediate future that all I want to do is give. Maybe it's because the shoe's on the other foot now and I'm seeing just how tough it can get. Or I've realized that I have so much more than a lot of people have: a healthy family, a roof over my head, food in the refrigerator, a car to take me places that isn't falling apart (actually, it kind of is but it's holding up nicely all things considered), and a place to go on Christmas.

I don't know...I always knew what the true meaning of Christmas was, I just never really felt it until this year. Then with all that soul-stirring going on, it made me wonder (again), if there isn't something to the whole belief thing. I don't know if I ever explained it in its entirety, but I was born and raised a Catholic - got confirmed and everything. Then I left the Catholic church in 1998 for the Church of Christ and was baptised in June 1999. Sometime over the next two years, however, I started to question my beliefs and found that I didn't really believe in the bible. I'd always taken it in stride, assumed it's truth because that's what I'd been taught: to believe and not to question. I got more into the science of man and evolution and whatnot...I declared myself Agnostic and have never looked back.

But with all that's been going on lately, and the random acts of kindness thrown our way - that I haven't blogged about because really, it's kind of personal - I can't help but wonder. My problem lies here: what do I do with the scientific facts that can't be explained away? Specifically, evolution? One time, in a discussion about evolution, Darwin, and pre-historic times, this transpired:

Rob: Well, if the bible is historical fact, then how do you explain dinosaurs?
Father-in-law: Well, maybe they just didn't exist.

How can you deny the existence of dinosaurs? Or evolution? I don't know. I'm pretty confused about the whole kit 'n caboodle. I guess that's part of life, right? To figure out what works for us and what doesn't?

The Friday Chronicles

Oh, what a week...actually, it wasn't a huge week, but it's ending with a mix of ups and downs and most of what I have to talk about happened over the course of the past 12 hours.

...................................................................................

Every year since Beth was born, she's always sat on Santa's lap at Rob's company potluck, held every Christmas Eve (they'd "work" half a day and the party would start at 11:30 a.m.) at the office. Santa was one of the Bobcat salesman and he'd sit inside a Bobcat in the lobby and take pictures with all the employees' kids. This year, obviously, no Christmas party. So we decided to brave the pre-Christmas mall and take her to see him there. The good news: she met Santa and told him what she wanted with no hissy fit and got the picture taken. The bad news: we paid about $17.00 for one 5x7" picture.

Free picture




$17.39 picture


*For those scratching their heads about our lack of finances and our ability to afford that mediocre picture, my mother-in-law very generously sent the money she was going to spend on our kids directly to us to get them what we knew they wanted; that way she wasn't left guessing, so we put some towards a Christmas picture.
....................................................................................

We've discovered that California, as a state, SUCKS. With Rob's first unemployment claim form, it questioned him about the first two weeks of December. One would be inclined to believe that he'd get paid for both weeks. Nope. One week. Why? A "waiting period." Waiting for what, I don't know. So now, we can't make any car payments. We can pay our insurance, but that's it. It'll be another two and a half weeks before he gets two checks and in that time, our utility bill will be late, our rent will be late, and we'll definitely be late with both car payments. Guess maybe I should start garnering moving boxes?

The dining room in our old place, October 2007


....................................................................................

I read an article in "O" today that has the wheels a-turnin' in my head. It was an article on "simple living," which is attached (not exclusively) to The Simple Living Institute. Basically, it means downsizing your life, in varying degrees, to your basic needs. It reminds me of vegetarianism: some vegetarians only cut out red meat, some cut out all meat save for fish, some cut out all meat all-together, some cut out all meat and dairy, etc. You can say you buy too many Starbucks coffees and stop buying them. You can move to the woods in a two-room cottage and live off the land. Or you can land somewhere in the middle.

This intrigues me. With all the stress we're dealing with right now, less would indeed be more for us. We aren't sure what we're going to do just yet, but we're definitely going to simplify. Digital cable will probably be the first to go. We're going to go through all of our stuff tomorrow and find stuff to sell or give away. We need to downsize! Learn to live simply! I feel like a hippy but it's liberating to think of having less and worrying less.

....................................................................................

I saw in the news that the human remains found in Florida were that of Caylee Anthony. Folks, my blood boils when I hear about things like this. Caylee, Rachel & Lillian Entwistle, and Laci & Conner Peterson...it absolutely shatters my heart that there are people out there cold enough, cruel enough, subhuman enough to do things like that. It will be six years ago on Christmas Eve that Laci went missing and to this day, I get very upset when I think about it too much. I was very pregnant with Beth when Scott Peterson was convicted and I remember standing in my living room, holding my belly, bawling tears of relief that justice had been served and yet tears of despair that that trial had to occur at all.

So I guess this is my way of saying: Go hug your kids, your husband or wife or significant other, your dog or your cat, call your mom, your sister or brother, your best friend. Life is so precious and so short.

...................................................................................

I gotta go. I've cried once already today, I can't handle another episode right now! Have a nice weekend, everyone.

A Tad Disappointing

Rob and I saw "The X-Files: I Want To Believe" last night. Let me tell you, totally not worth the $1.09 we spent at the Redbox to rent it. I was all kinds of excited about it. I watched "The X-Files" when I was a teenager and loved it! They had me believing in extra-terrestrials, rooting for Mulder and glaring at Scully for her scepticism, and wanting to jam that smoky cigarette down Cancerman's throat. You can imagine my anticipation for this to come to DVD. They made it sound just like the old days, out looking for evidence of aliens and whatnot.

It wasn't. Not at all.

I won't ruin it for those of you who think I'm full of it and rent it anyway, but let me tell you, don't expect a whole lot. It was a good movie, decent plot, but definitely not the "X-Files" I remember. No E.T. No spaceship. It was more about Scully and Mulder's relationship than anything else.

Now I'm looking forward to "Paul Blart: Mall Cop." [insert uncontrollable giggles here]

Thankful Tuesday...on Wednesday

My friend, Denise has been doing Thankful Tuesday for a while now and I haven't participated. I know I've had a lot to be thankful for but when it gets overshadowed by the hardships, it's hard to want to talk about it. But in the name of the holidays and the smile on my daughter's face when I turn the Christmas tree lights on in the evening, I'm doing it this week.

However, I'm putting a spin on it, a lá Mimi. I'm doing one serious list and one fun list.

Fun First! Here's a short list of Hollywood-related things and people I'm thankful for:

1. "Grey's Anatomy" I love this show. I've loved it since Day One and it never disappoints. It gives me one hour of respite from the stress in my life and lets me focus on their stress. I also have empathy for the characters in their struggle to figure themselves out. A lot of shows focus on characters about my age and it's like living through "Dawson's Creek" all over again. You're growing up with the characters.



2. Phyllis Smith You'll probably only recognize her if you watch "The Office." She plays Phyllis Lapin-Vance, one of the salespeople in the office and Angela's antagonist. I love her character because she's quietly smart and very unassuming but always comes out on top with her head held high. But I love her the most because when she was a cheerleader and a burlesque dancer! You don't have to be thin to be beautiful and confident, girls!



3. Patrick Dempsey I'm thankful for his general presence in television and movies. I don't always care for his movies (I only saw a few minutes of Enchanted but that was enough) but he's good-looking enough that it brightens my day a little bit every Thursday.



4. American Idol More specifically, the auditions. We haven't watched a full regular season since Carrie Underwood won, but those auditions are worth every hour wasted in front of the TV. Personally, I can't really carry a tune. I can hum Brahm's Lullaby to my son more or less in key and I won't attract tomcats to my front door, but Martina McBride I am not. AI auditions remind me that it's not about how well you can sing, it's about chutzpah, and those kids have it. Rock on, young 'uns!

.....................................................................................

And now for my serious list: What I'm really thankful for.

1. My kids I know that sounds very clichè, but it's true. Things have been down and out lately but we've managed to keep things as normal as possible so they don't know anything's different. And bless their little hearts, they make mommy smile all day long! If it weren't for them, I may just cry instead of laugh.

2. My husband's sense of humor He knows things are bad right now but he's keeping his sense of humor sharp and on the ball. You wouldn't know how funny he was unless you know him really well and he acts like himself around you but trust me, he's a riot! I laugh until I cry around him many times each day and no day should go by without laughter.

3. My friends This week, one in particular. We've never met face to face, we've only chatted and emailed, but she was really there for me and I don't know if I can thank her enough! She and I have got to get together one of these days! Also, for Diana who sent us two very adorable pictures of her daughter for Christmas which put a smile on everyone's face, especially my daughter, who now wants to meet "Kay-dee."

4. My blogging friends A few of you have left encouraging words and I'm really thankful that you're all there. Not just "there" in the sense that you leave sentiments in my comments but "there" in the sense that you still read my blog even though it's taken a depressing turn and there are days I don't blog at all, and "there" in the sense that you all still write and give me something to lose myself in for a few minutes and remember that we all have troubles and we all come through on the other side, one way or another.

....................................................................................

Thanks, everyone!

I'd love to say something interesting happened today...

...but it didn't. We woke up, ran an errand for a friend, ate lunch, I went to a focus group in Pleasanton, went to Safeway and bought a few things, and came home. Ta-da! My day.

No calls today for jobs. I finally put my application in at Wal-Mart. I've been doing it in pieces: one little bit of it in Fremont, some of it in Union City, and I finally finished it at home. I didn't know you could do that at home, I thought you had to apply at those computer kiosks, but the woman I babysit for said she got her friend a job at Wal-Mart that way so I checked it and whaddya know? I'll probably go back to it tomorrow and apply for something administrative too, if I can.

So on that note, I'm going to go relax and watch something funny with my husband. I need to chill. And "chill" I will: it's 39ºF outside right now with a chance of snow in our hills, at about 1000 ft.! Can I get a big "BRR" from my peeps on the lower left coast?!

This is the Bay Area's idea of snow, folks. I can hear you east coast suckers growling and groaning...

The Friday Chronicles

So I'm a couple days late again. I can't help it; lately, I've been so stressed out and busy that sometimes my blog falls to the backburner and it's a constant cycle of "I'll get to it in the morning, or I'll blog tonight before bed." Neither happens and the next thing you know it's been two days.

Anyway, my thoughts for the week...

.....................................................................................

We discovered today that California's technology is a few steps behind Pennsylvania's, at least as far as the state's concerned. You know how you can call pretty much any office and get a full-service automated menu? [Aside: Does anyone else get really annoyed when you call a company's phone number and can't seem to get a real person on the other end of the line? What happened to the days when you called a company and a person answered the phone?] Well, when I filed for unemployment from Pennsylvania when I lost my job in January 2004, I was able to phone in every other week and re-file my claim. Out here, apparently, you can't call. You have to fill out your bi-weekly claim and mail it in. Like, snail mail. THEN, you have to wait up to 10 days before you get the checks. I understand having to jump through hoops for this sort of thing but c'mon...you can't provide an automated service with a 1-800 number? Join the new millenium, California. You're the friggin' pioneer state of technology.

.....................................................................................

Buy shoes that fit. I cannot emphasize this point strongly enough. Ill-fitting shoes will make you want to take a hacksaw to your feet after three blocks of walking in them. Remember Saw? Okay, maybe it's not that bad. But you get the idea.

.....................................................................................

I am absolutely loving this cold spell we're having here! It's 50ºF here, which may not seem cold to all of you back east or in the midwest, but it's cool here and at night, we get down to 40º and it's AWESOME. Don't get me wrong: I don't miss the snow. Not in the least. But when you only get two seasons per year (summer and "winter") you look forward to either being cold or hot. So I'm totally relishing wearing jeans, socks, slippers, t-shirts and sweatshirts. I even got to put a blanket on my little boy when he took his nap today - he wrapped himself up like a burrito!



.....................................................................................

.....................................................................................

I'm really hoping something happens this week, job-wise. Things are getting kinda scary here. I need an office job, something that pays a decent salary, because in order to collect unemployment, Rob has to keep actively looking for work (that is the idea behind Unemployment Insurance) but if he's offered work, he has to accept it. The idea is to get me working so he can focus on school. And if I'm working, I have to make enough to support us right off the bat. So keep your fingers crossed - or pray if that's what you do - for a Christmas miracle. We need one.