I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a balla...

...or I wish I wasn't such a damn wallflower.

Seriously folks, I haven't had a "night out" with the girls - whether they be girls from C-Town or from college - since mid-2001. SEVEN YEARS. SEVEN!

When I met Rob and got married, I kinda lost interest in that scene. I calmed down for a while. I'm still calm, but now that I've moved out here, popped out a couple of kids, and have seen the calm side of life, I'm wishing I had girlfriends out here who would drag my sorry ass out on a Friday or Saturday night!

A number of things are preventing this from happening:

1. I'm a HUGE wallflower. I'm not a go-getter. I don't join mommy groups or playgroups because I'm afraid I won't be accepted. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I'm not skinny, I'm not beautiful, I never have a lot of wiggle room with money to do every activity under the sun, I'm a Republican, et al.

2. I don't have many friends out here. I have two local friends but they're both a bit younger than me and have their own activities. One has her own mommy group, not to mention money to do the things they do.

3. I'm very self-conscious. I don't have nice "going out" clothes. Most of my shirts either have holes in them because they're so old or they have some miscellaneous stain on them that make them look as though they'd be put to better use as dust cloths.

4. I'm a Negative Nelly. Look at this list!!!!

I'm just a self-sabotager, I suppose. I have no self-esteem, I'm persistently certain that I'm always being judged for my decisions, my appearance, my beliefs...*sigh*

Honestly, I miss my friends back east. I love living out here, I do. But if y'all could just hop into a caravan of U-Hauls and move your asses out here, that'd be great. Or you could just take vacations in tandem and a few times a year, I could go out and get a little crazy. Maybe cut a little rug. ;-)

From the days when I was a lot of fun...





And a picture of mom and me, for putting up with this morning's posts!