Say "Yes!"

Last week, Rob and I watched "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey. My opinion on the movie: it was okay. Not his best work (for my money, nothing beats "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind") but not his worst. The message of the movie, however, blew. me. AWAY. Seriously! It made me think of all the times I've turned down going out or doing something for no good reason. Maybe it was too late in the evening for me. Or I just thought it wasn't for me. I wouldn't fit in.

How are you supposed to experience life if you keep saying no? I'm almost 30 years old and I haven't had a girls night out since...um...2001. YEAH. That long. Eight years. So I have a new policy: if it's not illegal and there's no good reason to say no, I'm saying yes. I've even said yes to myself. Two weeks ago, I was watching "The Biggest Loser." All season, I've been in awe of these people. This was, by far, the heaviest set of contestants TBL has ever seen. I said to myself, "This is ridiculous. There are women on there bigger than you, in worse shape than you with less hope than you. What is stopping you? You've got a lot of weight to lose and you always seem to have an excuse. No more excuses! The changes start now!"

So I started with just walking. About three miles, I'd say. I threw in a few jogging spurts, about 30 seconds each. That was two weeks ago. Now I do a 3-4 mile route 4-5 days a week, and in that, I run 1-minute spurts 8-10 times throughout it and I'm gaining every day. My pants are already loose and I'm not stretching out t-shirts when I put them on anymore! I'm low-carbing it now and I'm down to only a couple of diet sodas a day, the rest is water. I feel great!

I'm aiming to run a 5k. I don't know if it'll be late this fall or early next spring but either way, I'm going to do it. And my mom? The woman who, despite all my desperate efforts, never thought I did good enough on anything? I want her ass standing at the finish line to watch her daughter - the one who didn't take enough interest in the piano, the one who didn't try hard enough in college, the one who had that hare-brained idea to move to California where only evil is born, the one who apparently doesn't know fuck-all about her own children and their needs - cross the line, 100 pounds lighter and a whole lot healthier.

She doesn't believe I can do it and I'm well aware of her disdain for my conventional methods of weight loss every time I mention what I've done that day. Instead of saying, "Well that's really great!" or "I'm really proud of you," all she can say is, "Keep it up" and "Cut back on what you eat and you'll lose even more." It's been this way my whole life. It's no wonder I have self-esteem issues and I'm constantly convinced it's not worth trying since I'll probably be no good at it anyway.

Meh.

I'll show her.