So you can use too much body butter...

Who knew?

Oh get your mind out of the gutter.

I'm talking about this stuff. My mom bought it for me last year from her store and I fell in love with it. Used it on my legs every time I shaved, which, being pregnant, was maybe once every 10 days. Fabulous stuff.

Eventually, I was using it on my arms, hands and feet. You can't have too much of a good thing, right?

Wrong.

After my shower this evening, I ran upstairs to grab my sweatpants. I saw it sitting on a shelf; I had more or less forgotton about it since we moved last October. Hm. "I know it smells yummy. I'm using it." As I was putting some on my legs, my daughter took notice and wanted to help me. "Help" in Beth's World is using two fingertips to help me rub it in to my skin. So I let her. Hey, I take help whenever and wherever for whatever reason. I do not discriminate.

This turned into, "Mommy, I put the lotion on your arms?" I'd already done my arms, so I told her, "Why don't you put it on my back? It hasn't seen moisturization in years."

This pleased her. For 20 minutes, she put what felt like gobs of this stuff on my back. Then my shoulders. Then my hands. My face. My arms. My neck. If it was exposed, it got body butter. Oy.

Finally, I called it quits. My husband left the computer at that point and joined us over on the couch. He informed me that the smell of "that shit" was really strong; strong to the point of making him nauseous. I noticed that I was a bit nauseous too. I decided to take a shower to start fresh. As I stood up, I realized it was more than nausea...and I nearly tossed my cookies right then and there.

Moral of the story: Don't let your three-year-old handle your moisturizing needs.

And as an aside to Fruit Frappé Pink Grapefruit Tangelo company: Please put warnings on your products that if used in mass quantity, the smell will induce vomiting. Please.