August 22, 2008

The World Is Full of Stupid People

For years, I've maintained that I can't stand stupid people. Ignorami, dullards, dipshits, dimwits, et al. The people who have the capacity for intelligence, to be learned, but won't do anything to get them there. They make vacuous statements and are persistently feebleminded. It hurts to listen to them but you have no choice because they. Are. Everywhere.

I changed my tune last night.

My husband came home with a terrific story. He and his coworkers were on break yesterday and one guy, we'll call him Axle, was reading this article in the San Francisco Chronicle. To summarize, it's about the Pebble Beach Concours d'Elegance, the creme de la creme of classic car shows. Don't bring your Novas, Chevelles, Darts or Mustangs to this show. In fact, you have to apply to participate.

One of the cars expected to arrive and be sold at auction is the Talbot-Lago. As Axle read this aloud - and reported that it's expected to auction for more than $4 million - he pronounced it "tall-boat lay-go." Now I'll be honest: I might have done the same thing were I not married to a car guy and didn't already know that most foreign-named things aren't pronounced as they would be in the United States.

So Rob told him repeatedly that it's "Tal-but Lah-go," ensuring that he had the pronuncation correct because nothing chaps my husbands ass more than someone mispronouncing anything car-related. You should see him light up when anyone refers to that large block of metal that sits under the hood of your car as a "motor." He'll go on a five-minute rant about motors being electric-powered and engines being gas-powered and how you'd be really hard-pressed to find a MOTOR in an AUTOMOBILE.

Not five seconds after firmly implanting the proper name in this guys head, Axle says, "...blah blah blah Tall-boat Lay-Go."

Keeping with the theme of Stupid, fast-forward to this afternoon. Rob and I were watching DVRd episodes of John Edward: Crossing Over, a show I started watching by myself while Rob played billiards on Yahoo Games. Apparently, the material piqued his interest and he joined me two episodes in.

We're sitting there chatting intermittently, usually letting commercials run so we can jabber on like two monkeys in a tree. He says, "Did I ever tell you about the time my mom worked with a psychic?"

"No," I replied, knowing a story was coming. He had my attention; I never knew anyone who'd seen a psychic.

"Well, they worked together and he told her that she'd have two more husbands..." he started off.

"I assume this was before she married [second husband's name here]?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. "So anyway, he said she'd be married two more times and that" and he trailed off.

I sat there with baited breath, sure that when he found his mental footing again it'd be a real humdinger.

"Yeah, that was a crappy story. I'm sorry."

And that was all he had to say about that. Who starts a story with gusto, eager to contribute something pertinent to the topic at hand, and then just peters out with little more than a meek apology? Why bring it up at all? Did you know it was a stupid story before you started telling it?

To be honest, I was laughing. I love him and he makes me laugh and if you'd been there, and seen the look on his face, you'd have laughed too. I'm still giggling.

Anyone's stupidity piss you off? Make you feel like slamming your head in a drawer repeatedly? Do tell.


diana said...

for the BT, there are usually shopping coupons available in the paper and flyers. this old lady gave me one the other day when she was checking out. i scanned it, marked it, threw it in my register like usual. she got all bitchy because she only had one and she wanted it back so she could use it at another register. i politely told her no, it's only good for one use blah blah blah. she persisted to get really nasty with me. finally, after hearing her bitch and moan about how "cheap" i was being, i asked her if the cashier at the grocery store gave her coupons back after she uses them. the lady promptly shut her yap, grabbed her bag and took off.

it's just common sense, really.

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