September 11, 2008

My Weekly Writing Assignment

So I read A Mom's World of Madness and Blessings every day and she's again unwittingly reminded me and referred me to our weekly writing assignment. This week, instead of writing a letter to my 10-year-old self, I'll be writing from 20 years in the future to my now-29-year-old self:


Dear Darcie at 29,

Quit being so damn dramatic. Not everything is a catastrophe. Relax, take a deep breath, and step outside the box. Realize that you don't need to get your panties in a bunch every time your "plan" goes askew. It doesn't help the situation and all you end up with is the same amount of stress plus one very uncomfortable wedgie.

Remember to find the positive in all that your children do. Your mom, although she did praise the positive, never failed to admonish the negative just as strongly and it left a pretty big imprint on you. Don't put this burden on your kids. Take their mistakes in stride and don't harp on them. Celebrate their successes and joys and relish them.

Remind your husband more often how proud you are of him and how much you appreciate his hard work to support your family. He needs to hear it and you don't say it enough. He's your rock and you know that but when you don't convey it, he turns into Relationship Ranger and kinda panics.

Please start taking care of your body. You don't want to have your first heart attack at 32 and have to have two open-heart surgeries - one of which is a transplant - by the time you're 63. Heart disease runs in your family and at your current weight and semi-sedentary lifestyle, you're headed down a dangerous path.

Stop staring at your nose. It's big, it's bulbous and you think it's the wrong shape and size for your face. You'd love a nose job but you can't really decide on a better nose and quite honestly, you know you'd feel weird if you actually did change it. So give up. Learn to love your nose. Embrace your inner-Evans-family trait.

Try to keep your chin up. I know things are tough right now and you're getting damn tired of being the Broke Shopper at discount grocery stores, tired of not being able to pay that nagging dentist bill, tired of boring weekends at home because you can't afford to go out...but someday you'll look back at this and smile. You'll smile at the experience, the wisdom you gained, and the fun you created when you couldn't afford to go buy the fun.

Please realize that you can't please everyone. Not everyone will agree with, much less support, your decisions. Be okay with who you are now and who you're becoming! It's not what you had planned ten years ago but it is what it is. You're happy, overall, although you do have your lows. The lows are fleeting though and to be sure, quite trivial. You're not 20 anymore. You don't honestly miss partying till all hours of the morning. You do miss smoking but you always will. Don't start again.

Some may have trouble understanding why you moved all the way out to California and chose to stay there in the face of perpetual brokeness, one turd from the universe after the other seemingly showering down on you sometimes. You did it so you could really figure out who you were...and it's working for you. You're finding your voice and it's really empowering. Hold on to that!

Finally, remember that although your driver's license says "MyLastName," you're still an MyMomsMaidenName and we're a strong, persevering and tenacious breed. We're known for keeping our noses to the grindstone, holding our heads up high and our backs straight, doing what needs doing to get through the toughest of times. This time in your life is no different. Never lose this sense of purpose.

Love,
You in 2028.

2 comments:

Mama's Losin' It said...

Great letter! Why is it so hard for us to listen to ourselves?? I guess a lot of this stuff is easier said than done and in 20 years we will likely be facing the same battles. :) Frustrating, isn't it!?!

Plunger Girl said...

I love this!

Btw, that bday t-shirt is awesome! I want one that says age 14.

 
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