September 24, 2008

My Weekly Writing Assignment

So Mama Kat gave us a choice of four prompts this week:

1) Lost? How come?
2) If I could take tomorrow off work, I would...
3) Write a letter to someone you miss greatly
4) 10 things I believe in

I'm going to complete #3 today and #4 tomorrow. I know you're only supposed to pick one but they're both so involved and exciting fodder for a writer, I just can't help myself.


Dear You'll-Know-Who-You-Are-In-A-Minute,

'Sup? We haven't seen each other in over five years and we only occasionally speak on the phone. That's my fault. I'm a horrible phone person, have been for years. The only person I can gab on the phone with really well is my mom and I think that's because I'm well-practiced in that. We have unlimited long distance and I rarely use it. I think it's because I'm afraid that I'm too boring for you now. My stories have bored you since I moved out least, that's what I surmise from your not-so-ambiguous rants about people who act like they're octogenarians and spend a good deal of time online, talking to the people who live inside their computer (whom they may or may not have met in person). I'm 99% certain that was directed at me but I chose not to say anything because I didn't want us in the same exact place we were this time last year.

I know I've changed a lot since I left and for the simple fact that it's clearly disappointing to you, I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry for who I am now. I've gone from left to right, east to west, and from being an outgoing extrovert to being a homebody who'd rather curl up with her ratty 12-year-old blanket and watch HGTV than hit the bar. So when you call and have all these stories about work, about people I used to know and hang out with, your house, the old 'hood...well, I have none of that and I come off as boring and hermit-like. I feel less boring when we email and exchange comments on MySpace.

I wish there were fewer miles between us. I still consider you my best friend and you have no idea how many times I've wished you lived closer so I wouldn't be so damn bored. We'd probably just sit and watch informercials for Time-Life music collections or listen to Pink Floyd and reminisce about our younger days, but it'd be time well-spent. I know you and a whole league of people wish we'd move back. Although our actions don't say so, we do miss Pennsylvania. We miss the people, the attitude, nice Walmarts, and having fewer junkies and meth heads to deal with in our grocery store parking lots. But as bad as our financial situation seems out here, it'd be ten times worse back there. We talk about moving all the time and someday, I guarantee you, we will. It just won't be anytime soon.

Please don't be disillusioned with me. I know I'm shitty at calling people and that I may come across as a loser who's developed roots in the chair at her computer desk, but rest assured, the old me is alive and well. She just doesn't have any real friends out here or any idea how to meet them. If I'm being quite honest, I think I've been keeping that possibility at a distance because I know how hard it was to leave the friends I've had my entire life and move across the country. I don't want to do that again.

So please don't fault me too hard for not calling. And please understand that despite my seemingly lonely existence, overall my mental health is just fine. Moreover, please understand that I do miss you. We might not agree on everything but you are and always will be my best friend, miles be damned.

And I will forever crack a smile when I hear Ralph Wiggum (thank you, by the way, for the birthday card, I had to explain the whole "sleep in a drawer" thing to Rob after he saw it), see a Schwinn, or catch "Whole Lotta Love" on the radio.

God, I've gone on long enough. You get it. I'm sure you know who "you" are by now. And I sound like a schmuck. Take care, dude.



Krazy Armstrong K's! said...

Awww hugs! Makes me wanna cry because I could write that letter about an old friend as well... not the moving part but the distance...
Great post!

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

well, that was sad, I hope this friend gets to read this!

Diva Ma said...

Distance between friends sucks.

- C - said...

Well... the letter wasn't to me.

I hope everything works out well with this friend, old friends are the BEST!

Lorie said...

I'm horrible at phone calls too. Hopefully your friend and you can reconnect in the way you want.

Great letter, I was fighting the lump in my throat.

Weeksie50 said...

I am sorry you and your friend are so far apart.. I hope a reunion happens sooner then you think..

Lacey in the Sky said...

I'm so bad at talking on the phone too- and I also think it's because i feel boring. Some of us just write better than we talk... there can't be any awkward silence in writing. I hope your friend sees this... and I think she will understand. Or so, I hope. (b/c i'm right there in the boat with ya sister! I'll bring you an extra life vest!)

Diana said...

i miss you too.

LazyCrazyMama said...

:) LOL! I am so bad at maintaining friendships. I hate making phone calls!

princesspeaches said...

well, anyone who knows you knows who you are talking about! I went through pretty much the same kinda thing with a friend of mine, and she just had to realized that I wasn't telling her all my stories to show how cool I was or to rub it in her face, that's just what I was doing. I was still interested in her life, even though we were just in different places life-wise.

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